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Be, the Creator.

In the beginning was the Word, and the word was… Everything.

Not the word “Everything”. But literally every single thing.


I am an artist of many mediums. I create things with my hands, I create things with my mind, I create things with my voice. I create. It’s what I do. It’s part of what I need to be doing regularly to feel fulfilled.

My ability to create is in no way unique. I believe every human has access to the knowledge and power that has unlocked my creative abilities. It is within each of us to create. Even if we don’t realize it, we do it daily simply by living. The words we say, the actions we take, the thoughts we have, the decisions we make, they are all our personal creations– all contributing to the masterpiece of art which is you Life.

As a creator, I am obsessed with the questions of creation. How is it done? How do others do it? How do I do it in different mediums? How was everything created? Who created everything–if there is a being responsible, etc.

As a philosophical thinker, I find it hard to find evidence. In one of his lectures, Alan Watts says, “We’ve got to examine ideas that are basic to our common sense… Psychoanalysis has, of course, examined the emotional basis of human opinions and beliefs, but one should also examine the intellectual basis of psychological principals, or theories or therapies.” Scientific evidence is only worthy within the paradigm of materialism. Religious evidence is only worthy within the paradigm of Theology. Each bit of hard evidence within a field is subjected to the boundaries of that field. For that reason, I use human minds, thoughts, actions, etc. as my most assured bits of evidence in the universe.

I consider the thought behind all individuals’ creations to be relevant. I am not religious, but I do find religious texts to be some very interesting and relevant literature. They are full of some old time idiocy, but also some truly brilliant wisdom. Not to mention, they too are obsessed with the idea of creation. (This is not to say that science, thought to be the opposition of religion by most, is not also obsessed with creation. I just think the random miracle of the Big Bang just happening doesn’t actually explain the entire picture.)

When it comes to this evidence, Language is so interesting. I, sadly, do not have an extensive knowledge of other languages, but what I have studied of them I find fascinating. Languages can tell you so much about the values and beliefs of the Peoples to which they belong. American English, particular to the Southern California region, is my vernacular. However, even this relatively new language in a relatively new country (when considering the known history of humans, life on earth, and the universe), holds within it innumerable clues about our beliefs as humans, beings and the universe. 

As an example of this, I would like to focus on is our self-identifier– Human Being.

It’s interesting that the word we use to describe ourselves, individually and as a species, is “Being”–an action word. It is not only an action word, but it contains a gerund and a context which, according to our grammar, means it is in the present tense. So as a species, when speaking in English, we chose to identify as a present-tense verb. We call it a proper noun– Human Being. But really, when you break it down, totally verb– Human, being.

But it isn’t just any old verb. We aren’t Human Runnings or Human Doings. We are Human Beings. We are Humans– being! Our verb is active. It is present. But it is not necessarily in motion, nor is it still. It is a content verb, whose root is to Be. To Be is such a powerful thing. To Be is to Live, in this moment.

So when we defined ourselves as Human Beings, we acknowledged our existence.

Most people also use the word “Being” to describe non-human existence. This is not something we generally agree upon. Different people will use this word for different existences. I, personally, use it do describe every living thing in the universe. I am sure I’m not the only one to do this. Some people call only other animals Beings. Some think of non-Earth life forms as Alien Beings. Our ability to recognize not only that we are in this state of present existence, but that other things are also in this state of existence, is incredible. Our language shows that not only are we living, existing creatures, but other creatures are too! Now that is empowering.

I really do believe that words are powerful, perhaps the most powerful tool of creation we humans have in today’s society. Words create intention, even when we don’t mean for them to do so.  Words plant seeds of thought. The mind makes the perfect soil for these seeds. Especially when not being consciously observed, the inhabited mind will run rampant with with the seed of an idea. Anyone who has spent hours lying in bed worrying instead of sleeping knows that to be true.

Coincidentally, because words have this incredible power over the mind, and the mind is an incredibly powerful and brilliant thing, words have incredible power.

Words can motivate great waves of change among hoards of people. Words can do deep harm to those caught in their cross hare. Words can empower and engage. Words have a world of their own.

In that world, we are their creator. We created the languages. We use words, in the form of language, to express ourselves, to communicate, to think. But also, words have taken on a life of their own! Their multiple meanings and connotations and intentions and uses. Perhaps we gave them those things, but the words themselves possess life! As their creators, however, we can see them as nothing more than an extension and a reflection of ourselves, our beliefs, our experiences, and our perception of reality. And logically, materialistically, thats all they are.

But they’re a powerful part of us. So when we use a word like “being” to describe ourselves, we are making a very powerful proclamation. We are planting the seed of the idea of existence in the mind. To call all living things “Beings” is, in some way, to create our awareness of existence. This isn’t to say that we did not exist before language. Rather, the idea is that by stating our intention, and having that intention be “existence,” we are awakening to a higher level of understanding, awareness, and consciousness. We go beyond just existing, to realizing we exist. As simple as this may be, to a human who has not yet solved or completed their own existential crisis, this realization could be life altering.

So let’s go back to the beginning–of this post and “time”.

In the bible, the word is not described as everything. In the bible, the word is God. But to me, these are the same things. Everything and everyone is “God”– in the most general meaning of the word. Even if one believes that there is a God and we are made in his or her image, that means we are made to be little creators.

We all have the power to create, and we do it every single day. We do it with the words we say, the thoughts we have, the intentions we give. We create, at the very least, our slew of sentences throughout the day which either reflect our inner feelings, beliefs, thoughts and desires, or empower us to change our inner feelings, beliefs, thoughts and desires. At the very most, we create our lives and everything in them.

Back to being Beings.

Discovering the nature of the words we use can reveal how those words are serving us. Like the example given earlier, “Beings” has the unconscious ability to empower us to notice our existence. Similarly, when we are feeling less than ourselves, feeling inadequate, feeling ill equipped to deal or cope with ourselves or our lives, we can intentionally use our words to change our beliefs and therefore change our lives! We can use individual words with different intentions, contexts, and expressions to set intentions for our inner selves that are beyond the unconscious regurgitation of someone else’s meaning for that word. We can change our mind to think more positively, more meaningfully– more mindfully.

By consciously using our language, we can create a better life for ourselves, and hopefully, a better world.

If this topic of words, beliefs and creation is interesting to you, check out Alan Watts’ lecture on the Fractal Universe! His examination of words at the beginning is truly brilliant.

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Live out LOUD!

Happy January!

Although in years past I have been very reluctant to look at the turn of the calendar year with any significance, I am feeling quite motivated by the promise of this year! I am invoking change and I’m refreshed by the opportunity for New Year’s Resolutions.

I’ve decided on a few intentions for this year. Self-expression is one of them! My hope is that by reaching out into the vastness of the realm of the interwebs, I will make connections with other humans and find out how beautiful our differences are and how similar we can really be. I want to know you. I want you to know me. I want to connect, learn, grow and be forever changed. I want to be better, every day.

So I begin this New Year by looking back at this past year.

2015: A Year of Awakening.

On January 1, 2015, I decided to embark on a journey to change my life. I asked for things to make more sense. I asked for answers to questions I had been asking my entire life. Questions that were never answered. Questions that were answered too often with too much variance in the findings– almost worse than finding no answers at all.

This decision was brought on by an absolute need for change. It was prompted by a state of trauma and a pattern of avoidance that lead to crippling anxiety and depression. I decided to change myself in an attempt to save myself. I decided to change because if I hadn’t changed it would have cost my life. And if I don’t continue to live better, and always be better, then it still could.

So I chose my route toward the answers, or perhaps it chose me, and I dove in. Head First. I submerged myself in books, blogs, and articles. I watched videos, lectures, and TED Talks. I experimented. I meditated. I contemplated. I journaled. I talked.

I fought.

I fought with my own head. I fought with my loved ones. I fought on the internet. I was used to fighting, as I had been doing it my entire life. This time, however, I was fighting myself, on behalf of myself. A battle I had always faced, but never had the courage to engage.

I found some of my light. I faced some of my darkness. I challenged some of my contradictions. I questioned literally everything. Through that process, and by those means, I discovered my truth. I discovered what I believe to be the truth of the Universe (or at least, my Universe).

Although the details of this journey will likely be expressed in future blog posts, I post this vague entrance to my journey to provide you with a brief overview of my findings and a glimpse of myself.

Although I very much believe that every individual’s experience is too different and unique to justly compare to another’s, I do see the many similarities. After all, what is this thing we keep calling “The Human Experience” if it isn’t somehow a collective, shared, and relatable one.

It is my hope that every human in need of answers will find them– that they will find the truth of their Universe, even if that truth contradicts mine. I do think that truth has many ways of being found. I also believe that, although some people may find others who share their truth, your’s needs to be found by you.

Because you are an individual. You are a whole human being! (You are a Whole, human being! You are a Whole Human, being.) Even if you meet your person in this world– whether they be a loving mother, best friend or significant other– you are a whole person in your own right. You have an incredibly unique perception of reality to consider. You are an individual whose life is yours and yours alone.

Nobody else can live your life for you. Nobody can rightly tell you how to live yours. In fact, it only makes life harder when you are trying to live a truth that was forced onto you by society or parents or peers.

So the choice is yours, it really is. But I challenge you to strip yourself of outside influences and find your truth.

Find your truth and live it. Express it freely! Openly! Loudly! Make it a part of everything you do and everything you are. You don’t need to force it on others. You don’t need to use your truth as a means to put down or judge others. You only need to figure it out, believe it genuinely, and live it, loudly. You do this for yourself. You do this for others. You do this to live, because surely at the end of this life, you will die. Why not do some real living first!?

You are an individual! However you came to be in this world, you ARE! YOU EXIST! YOU are alive. It is your birthright to live this life–YOUR life. You don’t have to live it how others tell you to live. You have the incredible opportunity to be exactly who you want to be if you first figure out and visualize who that is and what needs to change to get there. Anything is possible. There are no real limits of the mind.

You are the cure to your problems. Benefits of this cure include, but are certainly not limited to confidence, empowerment, love, compassion, empathy, knowledge, clarity, awareness, courage, strength, purpose, and infinite possibilities.

I will caution, however. This journey toward truth is not an easy one. It is harder before it is better. You will have to face many parts of yourself that you’ve avoided, or possibly didn’t realize you had. You may lose yourself entirely before finding the person you were born to be. You may experience excruciatingly painful lows, but they will be accompanied by ecstatic, surreal highs. And you’ll know how to make it through the hard times when you know more good times are coming.

I don’t want anyone to think I have completed this journey. I have gained incomprehensible knowledge which has only led me to more dead-ends, more questions, and more discovery. It may take me my entire life to become who I’m meant to be, but damn is it worth every mistake.

So if it pleases you, if it interests you, if it intrigues you, if it terrifies you… please embark on your own journey toward personal truth.

Challenge your contradictions. Question your beliefs. Love unconditionally. Empathize with others. Express gratitude. Even as a work in progress, know your truth, as it stands now, and LIVE. OUT. LOUD!