In Transition

Three years ago I came out as bisexual, which was my first attempt to express that I like women. But this year I came out as gay, realizing that so much of my previous “attraction” to men was for the security and validation of their male privilege and not to them as partners. I grew up in a household with so much toxic masculinity that I literally believed my wellness, success in the world, ability to be loved, and self worth were all attached to my ability to “catch” a man, or to otherwise be pleasing to them–pleasing to look at, to be around… which to toxic masculinity means meeting the societal standards of beauty, being silent, compliant and agreeable, and super validating to men (none of which came easy or natural to me).

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